Scaredy Cat

I don't know what my problem is... I am scared in my own home.

Before Ben left for work this past week I had him install some chain locks on our doors. I told him that it was because both kids can unlock the doors and Madie keeps trying to sneak out, but really it is also because I am scared here alone.

Last night I tried to go down to the road to pull the garbage can in... It is still on the street now. I got as far as the gate on the fence, freaked out, ran back to the house, slammed the door and frantically locked the door.

I did not even attempt to try to get Madie to sleep in her own bed. I just told her to go crawl in my bed. Abbi is still in our room anyway and Slade was with his mom.

The last time I was here alone at night was when he was gone before Abbi was born. I wasn't scared, I could go outside at night, I could let my kids sleep in their own beds. I guess I thought at nine months pregnant I could handle anyone or anything that tried to mess with me.

I know I am a huge freak. I am a grown mother of three and I am afraid in my home.

Now what?

Happy Halloween!

The kids had such a great Halloween.

Ben took Slade and Madie trick or treating with their cousins and some friends.

Abbi and I hung out at Grandma's house.

A Marine

A Giraffe

and a Puppy

All three together... So cute!

And the best part... we didn't spend a dime on costumes.

One Month Already

I can't believe this little angel is a month old already. Time is going to fast.

two and a half weeks old

Abbi is such a sweet baby.

She is so content the majority of the time, which is good considering that her brother and sister are both very needy all the time.

She sleeps best during the day when there is tons of noise. At night when everything is quiet she thinks she should be awake.

She eats really well and thinks that whenever she is awake she should be eating.

At her 2 week well check she weighed 7 pounds 7 ounces and was  20 1/4 inches long.
At birth she was 6 lbs 13 ozs and 19 1/4 inches long.

She is definitely a Mama's girl.

We sure love this sweet little girl!

Madie is 3!

I can't believe that my baby is 3 years old already...

ok I am a bit behind, her birthday was actually on October 3.

It seems like just yesterday she was born and I was holding her in my arms, now she is so big and so capable of doing things for herself.

A few things about Madie...

• She loves to color.
• She is starting to get into dress up. Grandma got her some princess dress up shoes, she wears them all the time and calls them her 'tappy shoes'.
• Every morning before anything else she asks for her 'chocolate chip' (chocolate milk).
• She thinks her sister is very cute but is not at all interested in helping with her. She refuses to put Abbi's paci back in her mouth and gets really annoyed with Abbi when she cries. She does however run to get me when she thinks that Abbi needs me.
• She hates to wear cloths. At home her normal wardrobe is a shirt, a diaper and her tappy shoes.
• She loves to sit on the toilet and play with toilet paper. She will sometimes sit there for 45 minutes singing and folding one square of toilet paper.
• She still hates to sleep in her own bed and insists to sleep with Mom and Dad.
• She eats just about anything that we put in front of her.
• She wants to do everything herself.
• She is starting to like Barbies.
• She loves to ride the rocking horse that her Grandpa built.
• She misses her Daddy terribly when he is gone to work and loves to talk to him on the phone.
• She is a screamer! It is loud and high pitched. She has apparently been doing it long enough though that Abbi recognized from inside my belly, she is not even phased but it.
• She has no volume control. All through church she talks at a normal volume no matter how many times she is asked to be quiet.  

We sure love our little Lous.

Happy Birthday Sweet pea!

  

Introducing...

Abbigail Julie Barrett

September 27, 2011

8:37 pm

6 lbs 13 ozs

19 1/4 inches

 

Abbi's Birth Story

We had been scheduled to be induced on Thursday September 29th. When we went to our doctor appointment Tuesday morning I was dilated to 5 cm. Our midwife asked if we just wanted to have this little girl today instead of waiting two more days.

Um... YES!

She sent us over to Mountain View Hospital and they got my IV going. We made some phone calls and Courtney came for Slade and Laura came for Madie. I had to have some antibiotics for a couple hours before anything else could be done to get labor going so we just sat and waited. At 2:30 our midwife came in and broke my water. And then the contractions started. By about 7:30 I was dilated to a 9 and shortly after started pushing. I pushed for about 40 minutes and then at 8:37 she was born.

This birth went so much better then Madie's did. By having a midwife this time I was able to do it without an epidural. Some might think that I am crazy but I am so happy that I was able to do it without drugs. The birth went so much better and I was able to listen to my body instead of the doctor or nurses telling me what I had to do. Because of that there I didn't need any stitches and and recovering much better than I did with Madie.

We are so grateful that Abbi waited to come until Ben was able to be home and we are so happy that she is finally here.

Abbi has the sweetest little personality. So far she is really mellow and loves to sleep... except at night. She is a great little eater now that she has figured out nursing.

Our Family of Five 

Madie is absolutely obsessed with Abbi. She calls her "Her Baby" and is constantly telling us how cute her baby is. She has done surprisingly well sharing her Mommy. Madie loves to help with everything Abbi. She runs to get me diapers, wipes, or whatever I need.

Slade is still mad that she is not a brother but he still thinks that she is cute.

Both kids love to give help with her pacifier and Abbi gets it shoved into her mouth whether or not she wants it. 

And just because everyone likes to look at a cute baby

How are we doing?

People keep asking me how things are going with Ben gone.

Answer: We are surviving. When he left we knew that this would be the hardest one. Being that it is the first time he is leaving and that I am having a baby any day. I keep telling myself that if I can make it through these two weeks I can make it through anything else that is thrown our way with this new job. So we have made it to the end, he is on his way home. In just a couple hours he will be here.

WE DID IT!

We are all so excited. Last night none of us slept. We were all just to excited. Yesterday the kids and I made Dad a welcome home sign and both kids made him a card.

So what did dad miss?

Not much of anything. THANK GOODNESS! For the most part we did a lot of sitting around. I have been to scared to do much of anything for fear of going into labor. But I did some organizing and a little sewing too.

Other than that we had one day that i was deathly ill. I could do very little that day but we survived. My kids are amazing! Slade totally took can of his sister and me. Talk about a big job for a 5 year old. He got her milk in her sippy and fed them both (cereal) for breakfast and lunch. He would check back with me about every half hour to see if I needed anything and kept bringing me glasses of water and rinsing my washcloth with cold water for my forehead. i felt so bad letting him take care of us like that but he kept telling me that he really liked taking care of me because I always take care of him... what a good kid. Madie kept sitting by me and rubbing my back and telling me "Mommy, I take care of you" seriously so sweet! That night Grandma came and picked the kids up, fed and bathed them and then brought them home to go to bed. I am so grateful for great kids and great in laws that help me out so much.

So now we will have our Daddy back for 2 weeks. And is this ever going to be an exciting two weeks. We can't wait to meet our new little girl!

Security

I always thought that most kids had a security item. You know something that they had to take everywhere with them or at least sleep with.

Me, I had a bunny. Not a stuffed animal, but more of a small blanket type thing with a bunny head on it. I still have it. It is now one big long ratty string attached to a bunny head. I took it everywhere as a kid. My brother had a blanky.

My kids, not so much...

Slade has never had anything that he insists on having and Madie... well I am pretty sure that I am her security item. I can not get her to go to sleep unless she is snuggled up tight against me with her arms tightly holding my arm.

Last night as I was lying in bed thinking about how weird it was to not have Ben there (last night was his first night gone) I started to think about the little almost 3 year old that was wrapped around my right arm. I thought about how I was her security item. Sure she will sleep without me there but she sleeps much better holding on to me. This made me start to think about how much my sweet husband has become my security item.

I used to be totally self sufficient. I never asked for help. Well who am I kidding... aside from Ben I still never ask anyone for help. Now I have found myself in a situation where I am going to have a baby any day and my Security is gone. I feel pretty lost without him. I have had tons of people beg me to let them help me and Ben also asked some people to check in on me and help me while he is gone even if I don't ask.

I am so grateful for him and all that he does for us and is willing to do for us. I know that leaving us was really hard, especially right now. But I also know that this is what he has felt is best for our family. I know that I have yet to come to this conclusion but I think that my own desire to have it easy and have him home every night is slightly over shadowing any feelings of rightness that might be trying to get through.

So now what? Perhaps I need to find security in myself again. Or maybe I need to just adjust the role my Security plays in my life.

I know that him leaving for work is not the worst thing in this world. I know that there are many people that have it far harder than I do. But for today, I miss my husband.

I love you Ben!