Saved

I write blog posts in my head all the time. Unfortunately I rarely take the time to write them down. I wish that there was a way that I could just plug my brain into my computer and the post would be written, but that is not the case.

Ben has been gone for a week now and we have one more to go. This has been a really hard trip. The kids are really struggling this time and so am I. Every night this past week Madie has cried herself to sleep, amongst her sobs was "I miss Daddy, I hate Kota (North Dakota)". Slade has really struggled to listen and has also done a fair amount of crying. As for me I've just felt overwhelmed. I have not wanted to do anything, I've had no motivation, my house has turned into a dump. If I would have written the post that was in my head yesterday it would have gone something like this...

I am the worst Mom in the world. I don't even deserve the title Mom. I hate the Mom that I am, I never wanted to be the Mom that yells at there kids all of the time and never wants to do anything fun with them. And here I am - That Mom. My kids deserve better than me. I feel so alone!

But today that all changed. What happened that changed my entire emotional state? Nothing huge, life changing or drastic. I went to lunch with some friends. Not just any friends - good friends. Friends that have hard days like me. That simple hour and a half sitting in that restaurant totally saved me this week. That  hour and half was Huge, Life Changing, Drastic.

And guess what. I am not alone. I am not the only one that has days that they want to be a different Mom than they are. I am OK. And you know what else? I have a GREAT life. I have an amazing husband and incredible kids. Sure some days are hard, some days I want to rip my hair out and that is OK.

So thank you Ladies. You two have literally saved me this week. Not to mention possibly saving my kids lives :).

Love you guys!