One year

Ben left for work on Friday.

Gone again for 2 weeks.

This trip marks one whole year of doing this job. When we started this job I never thought that I would survive the first two week interval much less a year.

 

I am sure that I am the only one that so vividly remembers that his first two week trip happened came along when I was 37 weeks pregnant and Slade had just started kindergarten. Between Ben, my Mom, Ben's Mom, Laura, Beth and Valerie I think my phone was constantly busy with people checking in on me, making sure that I wasn't having contractions, seeing if I needed anything from the store or if there was anything they could help with. I remember the first couple days Ben was gone walking Slade down to the bus stop. It took about two trips to the bus stop having to stop every little while to deal with the contraction (and having the farmer across the street stare at me like he had never seen a huge pregnant woman before) for me to decide that I better just drive Slade the 4 houses down to the bus stop. The second week I spent pretty much sitting on the couch on self induced bed rest doing only essential movements in an effort to keep her in. I was so scared that our sweet Abbi was going to come before Daddy got home. I am so happy he made it home in time to see her born!

 

So here I am now, a year later. With my great big first grader that won't let me walk him to the bus stop anymore. My forever growing almost 4 year old that seems more like a teenager everyday and my sweet baby who is walking around getting ready to turn 1 next week.

 

I feel like we/I have come so far in the past year.

 

This is the post I wrote the morning after my first night without him a year ago. I went back and read that tonight and I couldn't help but think about how far we have come since then.

 

So here are a few things that I have conquered or improved on in the past year...

(some are by shear determination and some are because I had no other choice)

• I can now sleep with windows open. (okay I still have to have a stick in them but this is progress people.)
• I can do some handy-woman projects around the house.
• I can now do one big grocery shopping trip, with all three kids - ALL BY MYSELF. I might be seriously contemplating taking up drinking by the time I am done and I might be sweating like a wild pig and I might have threatened to leave my kids at the store a couple times but i can do it and every moth gets a little easier.
• I can go to church with all three kids ALL BY MYSELF. Okay that sweating like a wild pig part may apply here too, so if you have had to sit by me at church I apologize.
• I CAN KILL MICE. Totally by necessity. No, not with my bare hands. Yes, I buy the spendy mousetraps that totally encloses the dead mouse. Yes, I still put a plastic bag over my hand to pick up an "occupied" mousetrap. Yes, Slade laughs at me and tells me that I am a sissy and I tell him the next one is his and he retracts his comments. --- Also our newly added feline friend that has taken up residence on our back deck is most certainly earning her keep. I don't know if she is killing mice but she is surely deterring them - I have not seen or caught one since she has been here.
• I can work with Slade's mom on scheduling things and can actually talk to her about events/issues/whatever that I need to for Slade (this includes attending parent/teacher conference - just her and I). See we can totally be grownups!
• I have learned to ask for help! This was a HUGE one for me. I AM TERRIBLE AT THIS! We have had a couple times when I really needed help and had to ask. One of these times happened just this week... Sunday morning I woke up with a horrible toothache, I figured I had slept with my teeth clenched or something and it was just sore. Monday when I woke up it was worse, I could barely eat and my whole right side of my face was throbbing. I called and was able to get into the dentist today. I had to ask for help with my kids. I made some calls and my sweet friend Annalee gladly took my girls so I could go to the dentist (she seriously was my angel today - I am so grateful for her). I got to the dentist and they told me that I needed a root canal and that the tooth was infected. I was able to get my tooth fixed all while knowing that my girls (Slade was at school) were happy and safe playing at a friends house.
• I have learned that I have some really amazing friends. So I pretty much already knew this but it has really manifested itself to me over this past year. My bestie Beth is always willing to go to lunch with me when I am at my breaking point and just need some grownup time, she is also always up for helping keep me busy on the day that Ben leaves (which is especially hard) and when all else fails she is always willing to say something completely inappropriate just to make me laugh. I have another amazing friend that is always looking out for my well being. When her kiddos were younger her husband also worked a job that took him out of town a lot. She has been awesome at knowing when I need a pick me up or just to talk, and she even brought me a blizzard tonight because she knew I had a rough day - LOVE HER! I have so many other people around me that are always willing to lend an ear or tell me I can do this.
• I seriously have some incredible in-laws! I knew this one before too but man are they great. They have gone out o their way to include me even though Ben is gone. They have helped me with the kids so that we could go on big family camp outs and float trips. They have come to my rescue to put my swamp cooler in when it is ridiculously hot in my house and Ben is gone. They have been ready and waiting for it to snow so they could come dig me out. THEY ARE AWESOME! I sure lucked out with them!
• I have gained a better relationship with my Father in Heaven. This job is hard. Don't get me wrong I am so grateful Ben has a job but this one is hard! If I had to do this without My Father in Heaven I never would have survived this last year

That is just a glimpse of what I have worked with in the past year. It is amazing to me what a person can do when they are determined to succeed.